Male Sex Toy

Rainy days bring with them their own kind of magic. There’s nothing like the joy of hearing tropical rain beat down on your porch while you are snugly protected from the downpour. But even non-stop rain in any part of the world for several days has its simple pleasures. If you’ve had several months without it there’s the delight in knowing it’s refilling the reservoirs and replenishing the soil.

British holidaymakers take five straight days of rain stoically in their stride, it’s part of the British tradition to have a not insignificant proportion of your holiday cooped up indoors with the rain unrelentingly chucking it down.

By the third day you have to get a little creative. It means parting with a little cash, but it’s well worth it. Put on a bright cheery voice and suggest to your partner and any accompanying kids that they visit the nearest shopping mall/cinema/McDonalds/ten pin bowling centre, anything that will get them to evacuate your room. You’ve got to say it like it’s the best idea in the world – anything less and they’ll think it’s a con. Of course it is a con, but the best cons are all about confidence – the abbreviated word ‘con’ is from confidence – geddit?

You have to suggest something that will make them bite – only you can be the judge of what that will be.  And it has to occupy them for at least a couple of hours.

Now you’ve got your precious ‘me’ time, put the ‘Do not disturb’ sign outside the door and settle back with the Autoblow Blast. Because it’s a fully automatic blowjob machine it means it will do all the hard work for you.

All you have to do now is lube up, insert yourself into the soft silicone sleeve, switch on, lie back and let the Autoblow give you the best blowjob since the last gust of wind blew the sun shades into the deserted swimming pool.

The multi-speed controller enables you to enjoy the blowjob at your own pace, fast, slow, or slow-slow fast, whatever turns you on. One or two good sessions on the Autoblow and you’ll be ready to face another three days of driving rain and maddening children.

Table tennis anyone? www.roboticblowjob.com

She had banged into the back of him in the foothills of the Andalusian mountains. Climbing out of the car, the attractive brunette walked towards Nigel as he stood, hands on hips, inspecting the minimal damage to his bumper.

“Sorry” he said “I was just taking in the view. I didn’t mean to stop so suddenly but just look at it…” He pointed to the cliffs below, to the waves charging into the rocks, creating mighty swirls of foam, and to the dark storm clouds rolling in.

“It is me who should apologize” said the senorita smiling. “I would exchange the address” she continued in faltering English “but I only live over zere” with a sweep of her arm she pointed to the castle that created a dramatic backdrop to the swirling seas and thundery skies.

“You live in the castle?” exclaimed Nigel. “Si” she said simply.

“How about a drink this evening” he suggested, imitating a cupped hand to his lips.

Shyly the girl agreed. They exchanged mobile numbers and once back at his hotel, he killed the next couple of hours on the internet learning all he could about the castle and its owners. Seems the Vallado family were one of the most prestigious in all Andalusia, and this castle had been in the family for countless generations.

With one hour to go, he took the sensible precaution of a session on the Autoblow. The incredibly authentic male sex toy blowjob sensation released him of any pent up sexual tension and put him in full readiness for a master performance should he get lucky.

Donning his best white shirt and jacket, he made his way to the castle, following the coastal route in his rented Seat Ibiza. As he was about to turn into the imposing castle driveway, he was surprised to see the girl walking towards him. She looked stunning in her orange sheath dress.

“I thought we would eat in the village” she pointed, as Nigel powered down the window. On the drive to the village, Nigel showed off his newly acquired knowledge of her family, but she seemed a little un-phased by it all.

Nibbling on tapas on a quiet terraced street, Nigel was disappointed to note the conversation was not flowing. It had all gone so well when they met that afternoon. What was the problem now? After dinner he suggested a stroll. With the view of the castle, the moonlight, the distant thunder and the crashing waves, well, it was all very romantic, but Nigel really preferred to be at home with his Autoblow Blast if things didn’t heat up soon. He grabbed her and tried to kiss her, but she gently resisted his advances.

“Zere ees something you need to know” she said, as she released herself from his embrace. “I’m not one of the Vallado family, I’m just a maid.”

“Oh I see!” said Nigel straightening his shirt, and coming right back down to reality.

“In that case, that’s 100 euros you owe me for my bent bumper!”

She laughed, it broke the ice. They had terrific long lasting sex back at his hotel.

And just before he dropped her off at the castle he whispered softly in her ear, “I wasn’t kidding about the 100 euros…”

Just to get you started, here is an erotic story involving a men’s sex toy.

I was at a meeting away from the office and it was dragging the way they used to drag medieval traitors before they hung and quartered them. My ass had been stuck to my seat for four torturous hours and just when I thought it was going to finish, someone raised another stupid question that set them all off again.

I glared like a snapped cyanide capsule at the guy who raised the question but he was too engrossed in the delights of authorized reseller programs to even notice. Asshole. Suddenly, I was aware that all eyes were on me. Did I have some half assed piece of documentation that would alleviate his anxiety?

“I’ll have to make a call”  I said, grabbing at a chance to leave the room for even just a few minutes. I called the office and Sarah answered. Sarah was a nubile newbie in butt hugging A line skirts. Not long with the firm, she was still at the stage where she was eager to please. She offered to go to my desk and track the document down and have it faxed to the office.

It was while rummaging around in the depths of my desk that she suddenly exclaimed, ‘oh there’ s something weird in here…it looks rude.’ I knew right away what it was, it was my pocket pussy, and my face flared bright cringing crimson.

“Oh right…just ignore that” I said, trying to sound casual, “it was a Christmas gift from last year… I bunged it in there and forgot all about it.”  She didn’t sound convinced but she retrieved the needed document and sent it over. Eventually, like the drifting of tectonic plates, the meeting ended.

Two weeks went by and I thought it was a case of incident over. I had taken the precaution of hiding my pocket pussy elsewhere. One day Sarah entered my office and we discussed boring distributor details for ten minutes. Then in a gap in the conversation she suddenly said “So how’s your pocket pussy?’”  I heard myself saying “Probably not half as cute as yours.”

She looked stunned. She got up and walked to the door. I thought I had offended her so badly she was about to dash to her supervisor and within the hour security would be escorting me out of the building. But no. She shut and locked my office door and drew the blinds.

Walking round to where I was still seated she pulled up her tight skirt, sat on the desk, parted her lovely soft thighs and said “Well, there’s only one way to find out.”  And believe me, we did.

Nowadays I have not one, but two superb sex toys secretly hidden in the office.

We want to hear your male sex toy stories and experiments no matter how bizarre or unlikely. There’s erotica about BDSM, Spanking, Latex, Rubber, MILF’s, Incest, Rape, Nuns, you name it, it’s out there – but the library of sex toy erotica lies bare, forlorn and unloved.

It’s strange because on the other hand (or maybe that should be in the other hand)  there’s plenty of sex toys, be they masturbators, cock rings, penis pumps, love dolls, blowjob machines, pocket pussies – the list goes on.

Tell us about your experiences with them. Perhaps you fell head over heels for a love doll. Maybe you are obsessed with a love doll. Perhaps you got caught in a car park humping an inflatable sheep. Did a session with a porn star endorsed ass and pussy sex

toy make you determined to go in search of the porn star it was modelled on? Or maybe you mom’s best friend caught you shagging a pocket pussy and got so aroused she begged you to shag her too. Yeah, it’s about as likely as the Obama’s humping on the White House lawn, but it could still make for a great tale.

Each month we will reward the best storyteller with an Autoblow Blast. This is the future of blowjobs. A fully automatic deep throat session you can enjoy any time, any where with the possible exception of the lecture hall or your next salary review with your boss.  The Autoblow sucks you to delirium dependably night after night without so much as a murmur of complaint or subtle hints dropped about new sandals in the shopping mall.

So there you have it. Get thinking and get writing. Your story should not be more than 500 words.  Please use our contact form to send us the storie.